


Blinding

by Anonymous



Category: Sword Art Online (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Dark Thoughts?, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-21
Updated: 2019-03-21
Packaged: 2019-11-26 23:26:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18186884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: “If it hurts to open them, you should just keep your eyes closed.”





	Blinding

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what this is but the fandom is in great need of Eugeo/Kirito so here you go.

Solus shines down on them and it’s bright enough that it’s blinding, his eyes tearing up. He can only keep them open for a few seconds at a time before he’s forced to close them but even though the light pierces his eyes, Kirito is there smiling at him, his voice teasing but friendly, his hands warm on his skin.

“If it hurts to open them, you should just keep your eyes closed.”

Eugeo puts his hand on Kirito’s on his face, Kirito’s voice soothing even through the darkness. “But then I can’t see you.”

Kirito stays silent long enough for Eugeo to force his eyes open another time, his smile somehow distorted, the tilt too sad to fit into Kirito’s face.

“Don’t”, Kirito says, his hand slipping free of Eugeo’s to cover his eyes. “Even if you can’t see me, isn’t this enough?”

_It’s not_ , Eugeo wants to say, _I want to see you_ , but for some reason the words get stuck in his throat, throbbing painfully. Instead he throws his weight forward toppling both of them into the soft grass, needing to touch somehow, needing the reassurance, needing to press down Kirito, to trap him, _anything to stop him from leaving—_ but how would he explain that? It is _wrong_ and he raises himself up in order to voice an apology, but Kirito’s hands on his back stop him, hugging him, and Eugeo is so surprised he doesn’t put up any resistance and just lets himself be lead down, his head resting on Kirito’s chest.

He swallows, Kirito’s warmth seeping through his clothing, his heartbeat steady against his ears and he wants to stay here forever, to burrow himself into Kirito, to freeze him eternally, so he can’t leave, can’t flee, so he’ll be safe and be with Eugeo forever, but that is ridiculous.

Eugeo painfully fights down the ‘don’t leave me’ that wants to leave his lips and instead melts in his embrace. “I’m sorry.”

Kirito’s fingers card through his hair and he wants to cry. “You did nothing wrong.”

_He had wanted to._

“I’m sorry“, he repeats, wishing so badly he had just— had just…

“Don’t say that, I was never mad at you Eugeo.”

“I wanted to.” It feels like a confession, like he is asking for forgiveness, except he isn’t, he can’t and the tears that are dripping onto Kirito’s black clothing are nothing but self-pity. _“I wish I had.”_

Kirito says nothing to that, maybe he doesn’t want to, maybe he is disgusted but he’s not pushing him away and Eugeo has always known that he wouldn’t. And he knows that he’s being greedy and weak but instead of leaving like he should, he just tightens his grip on Kirito’s clothing, wishing not for the first time that he had been strong enough to go through with his thoughts. But is that strength? No, surely that can’t be called strength. He had done the right thing. This, this right now, is weakness.

He is despicable.

“I’m sorry.” At this point he is not even sure anymore how true these words are. He just needs to say them, to get rid of this _burden_ and since he is weak, he had done the most unforgiveable thing he could have done and had gone to Kirito with them. Until the very end, he had never been able to stop causing him trouble. “I’m sorry for being so weak.”

“It’s fine”, Kirito says, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead. “I’m not mad.” _You should be._ “And Eugeo? You are not weak.”

Eugeo starts laughing brokenly, more air than sound really, his grip on Kirito surely hard enough to bruise but he can’t bring himself to let go because if he does, Kirito will disappear.

Kirito’s hands are soft on him in comparison, even now nothing but gentle and soothing, and Eugeo feels like throwing up. Brushing against his cheeks, catching his tears and Eugeo feels something in him break.

“I love you”, he finally confesses, raising his head to really look at Kirito, his knuckles white where they grab Kirito’s in a death grip, the words feeling like he is swallowing down broken glass, his chest throbbing and bleeding. He only has a moment to see Kirito’s face fall, his face so pained that Eugeo wishes he had never opened them in the first place before darkness awaits him again, Kirito’s hands slipping through his own like air, the warmth disappearing.

 

Eugeo opens his eyes and he is alone.

 


End file.
